Time to accept what I really am, a cock loving sissy slut

Hi everyone… This is really hard to post, but I need to be honest. I’ve been into the sissy lifestyle since I was 15 — that’s over 8 years now. I’ve tried to quit so many times. I’ve done countless purges, thrown everything away, and sworn “this is the last time.” But no matter what I do, my mind always comes back. I can’t go more than 30 minutes without thinking about being girly, serving, and being used. When I see women in public I get so jealous it hurts. I can’t even look them in the eyes — I just stare at the ground like a coward, secretly craving their pretty legs, soft hair, skirts, earrings, and everything feminine. I want to be them so badly. At home it’s even worse. I try to have sex with my girlfriend but I can barely get hard at all. It’s honestly laughable. I have to take pills just to get it up, and even then she usually hands me the dildo so I can finish her while she ignores me. She knows I’m not an alpha male… but she has no clue her “boyfriend” is actually a closeted sissy who dreams about being a full-time maid. I’m done fighting it. This isn’t a phase. This is who I am. ~ Sissy Sophia